all your base are belong to us...

you know, every day i see some type of evolution of technology. on the one hand, it's incredibly bad-assed (like how i can mapquest a road map from my blackberry, which is very useful because i roadtrip like five to eight times in a year).

on the other hand, it's freaky. big brother could be spying on me from my macbook (in that case, all the girls in the photos ARE OVER 18 ;) ), someone can ALWAYS be in contact with me via laptop (email, facebook, myspace, AOL instant messenger) or by cell phone (phone calls, text messages, email sent to my phone from my mizzou account), and finally it's such a drain on our time.

i feel sorry for anyone born later than, say 1989 because i doubt they remember what life was before nearly every american home had a laptop and steve jobs/bill gates were battling for our attention spans. i'm 22 years old and my 10 year old cousin can build a webpage better than i can. i'm pretty sure the health conscious can now blame childhood obesity on computers too because kids spend an ungodly amount of time in front of a computer screen instead of outside tossing a football, riding a bike or flying a kite (man, it's been forever since i tried to fly a kite). but then again, i'm guilty of spending too much time on the computer (especially facebook since they started installing all these crazy ass applications, damn you mark zuckerberg!).

i feel like taking up dr. ronci's challenge like i did last summer. there would be up to three days at a time where i would leave my cell phone off and my laptop off. those were good times because i would be so relaxed just sitting on my couch having a smoke, doing a sudoku and watching my law and order mini-marathons. it's nice knowing that you can control who can contact you and who can't.

to sum this all up, i am reminded of a line from my favorite cartoon character huey freeman from the boondocks: "Just think...we could all be reading a book right now."

in fact, i hear Helter Skelter by Bugliosi calling to me. y'all should read it. it's an account of the manson family and the tate/labianca murders from the prosecutor Vincent Bugliosi's point of view. manson was a nutter butter but it's a very interesting study in psychology.

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: "Virtual Insanity" by Jamiroquai (how fitting...)

you take the good, you take the bad...

the bad...i'm soooooo *deep breath* oooooo b to the r to the o-k-e! lame! i hate not having a job, but it's what my parents want. not waitressing does have its upshot. i'm less stressed (not so much by the customers but less stress from my former asshole boss). more bad...dudes who don't know how to take a hint! drunkenly i gave my number to this fool me, porcshe' and jenna have termed as "the white t boys." even after i told that guy that i had a man, that fool is STILL calling me. and it sucks because there are some of my friends who call me and their number comes up as unavailable. i don't wanna keep avoiding their calls forever!

the good...i'm now the new TA for English 3400 :) i loved that class and dr. langley so i'm happy that i get to keep working with both.

currently listening to: "Family Matters" on ABCFamily

a year's really not that long...

you would think i know this by now, but it's just really starting to hit me how fast a year goes. and the summer goes faster than that. in the next three to six months, i need to do the following:

-write my proposal for why i'd be a good TA (this actually needed to be done two weeks ago. damn.)
-take the GRE
-work on my fiction
-raise my GPA
-apply to Teach For America
-apply to the following for grad schools in case i don't land in TFA:
*UMass-Amherst (right now, this is my top choice)
*Arizona State
*University of Georgia
*Georgia State
-keep my fingers crossed that either graduate school or Teach For America accepts me


busy busy busy like a bee! :)

currently listening to: "Maybe" by Janis Joplin

lazy sundays...

actually the title of that post is a wee misleading. i have been at home doing what i do best: working on my stories (because apparently when you apply to grad school, they want you to turn in 20 pages of fiction with your application) and watching crappy reality tv. the only effort i have put into doing anything was when i made my walk up to the gym and worked out. p.s. downtown gold's gym can suck it and once gas prices stop costing the price of two steak dinners and a bottle of merlot i'll go back to southside gold's.

i am so bored and so broke. i wish all my playmates would come back to como! or i wish i could find a mystical money tree. maybe there is a money tree and the bush administration is lying about it like they do everything else (for any republican readers of mine, i'm only halfway serious).

oh well..off the laptop and back to creating fiction.

p.s. aneesa from the real world/road rules challenges cracks my shit up (best example: Gauntlet 2 ---> aneesa: "BITCH I WILL CUT YOU WITH WORDS!"...kills me every singe effing time).

p.p.s . bring on the return of real world las vegas because steven was SOOOO smokin' hot.

currently listening to: "Sexy Boy" by Air

first post...a state of reflection

i've realized something about myself. I have an inability to let things go. I hold grudges even when I say i've forgiven someone. and that's pretty shitty of me because i get so mad when people don't say what they mean.

i've been meditating and reading out of the bible all day and i ran up on something that i really want to try to incorporate into my life:

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."-Ephesians 4:31-32

it's simple: LET. IT. GO. God forgives my triflin' butt for all the crap i pull but I can't forgive others for stuff that in the big ol' picture of life that is just not that damn important? i really wanna do this. forgiveness may be one of the hardest things to do in life, but it's not that impossible. and i think it's in forgiveness (or at least learning to let go and learning who to deal with and not deal with) that i can be rid of all that toxic-ness in my life.

and if the bible isn't your cup of tea, then take it from one of the better movies made in my lifetime American History X:

"hate is baggage. life is too short to be pissed off all the time."

currently listening to: "Crazy" by Aerosmith